just two bullets in the head...

of the guy who sold him his first beer at 15. That's all I asking. And NO it's not very chaplain like, but from where I sit in a patients room as he is dying and the people who love him are crying, sad, angry and grieving all I can say is "This just sucks!" and everyone in the room nod there head yes!

And it doesn't help...or change the outcome...or make anything right.

As I learn over the last few days from the patients mouth he started drinking with his buddies at 15 and got his beer from a convenience store (sic) and has been drinking ever since. He had a birthday in the hospital and got a stuffed animal. It was cute, but kind of lame for a 43 year old man/child. Here in the room are the people who love him: his father, who is still grieving his wife who died a year ago tomorrow, (sadly ironic twist of fate), his wife and friends.

"What a waste" his father says with tears running down his face.

"This can't be happening" his wife says.

A friend is singing and crying knowing he can't change the outcome of this illness.

True, he IS 43 and an adult and he made his choices and now is living and dying with them. I am not in denial about that. But it doesn't help.

I found myself thinking about the night or day when he and his buddies jump in a car and drove to the local Jiffy Stop and Gas a Lot to buy some brew for a good time.

Maybe it's just the Holiday season and that I have tickets for Scrooge and am thinking the life of
a lost soul, maybe I am an idiot, maybe I have my own issues (no, i don't drink and don't get the need to.), bu tI have issues. Yes, I believe that we are each responsible for our own choices. We are the product of our choices. I agree with M Scott Peck in the Road Less Travelled "Life is hard."

But sometimes just two bullets in the head could ...