Total pain!

"Chaplain, what I really want is some relief. This jsut won't go away and I can't take anymore. I know I am losing it. I know I am dying. I don't want to, but I know I am. But this is too much. I am SO angry. What am I going to do?"

Learned and experienced a new clinical term this week; which is called total pain.

Sally is a middle aged, married, mother of three. She has recurrent metastatic cancer. Her oncologist has given her a timeline of life expentancy (which some oncologists are debating the value of that!). Her oldest son has recently started running away from home, her kids grades are dropping and her husband works extended hours to avoid coming home to a house in turmoil. Add to that, because of their massive medical bills money is more than tight. Three of Sally's family have died with this disease in the last three years; one a year in each of the last three years. She is openly asking and fearfully wondering is 2006 my year to die? Two others are sick and battling the disease. She feels that God has stopped answering her prayers. Oh and NO ONE is willing to get help, counseling or talk about their fears, anger, worries or emotions just to name a few things.

Sally's prognosis is bad. Very bad. Her Doctor has told her she should get her life in order and start making final arrangements.

Total pain is when your medical condition, your psycho-social relationships, your spirituality and your emotions are in crisis and chaos all at the same time and with the same intensity. Sally is in total pain.

She and her family have burdened my heart and soul.