crying at christmas plays

Recently an RN stirred some deep feelings within me.

"Chaplain, do you know who Phyliss Schafley is?" Where can I hide is my immediate response? "Hmm, I have heard of her; why are you asking?" She was on a TV show last night and I have to tell you I think I hate her?"

Now I am confused? I don't do confessions. "I think I am going to need some more info!" "Well, I think something has gone wrong. I thought Christianity was about acceptance, forgiveness, love and compassion. I always thought it was something to look up to, not something to look down at and avoid."

My heart starts to break. I am NOT the defender of the faith, but this stings. "If that is what you become when you become a christian, why would anyone do that?" Sheepishly I respond with "I don't know." He continues "I have always tired to save HATE for Hitler and people like that, but I honestly think I hate her and it scares me."

My family and I love going to Christmas plays, events at churches and in the community. But it is double edged sword for me. I love the story and majesty of the coming of the Messiah and God's love for us. Then somewhere in the second half I am crying, wiping away tears, not because I am moved and overwhelmed by God's grace, but because this simple story has become convoluted with bereaucracy, structures, power struggles, political agendas and other crap. That's not what I signed up for...and why I find myself crying at Christmas plays.